Fossils
You’ll have to forgive my narrow scope; as stones seem to be an ongoing theme in my writings as of late. ~soft smile~
~O~
The heart of the dead-wood:
“La Corazon de la Piedra,”
called as such, by a man
By the vanishing man
who said he wanted more.
(we were equally matched.)
It was long-afore fractured
before he sought me out,
or maybe I found him…
details matter little
less now than ever.
(who was the fortunate one?)
He was a damned good man
A kindlier, generous man
With his time, his shoulder,
his patience, and understanding.
(even when I was utterly unbearable.)
He never said that he loved me
It never required words.
Slowly, skillfully
I knew I’d been marked
I felt his white-hot brand
After burying himself deeper
inside the shredded-red remnants
I’d thought secured beyond reach.
I understood, then, that it was truth.
(a heart is in bondage long after the glorified fade.)
He was good for me,
Unlike any other…
I thought too much of the man
And so, naturally I pushed him away.
I thought too little of myself
And so, I foolishly rejected him.
(that is what I wanted Him to believe.)
I fooled only my undeniable self….
as we found our next escape.
I thought him a wise fool,
until I felt nothing.
(that is the lie that I told myself.)
He cared for that broken, fossilized relic…
Beware the wiles of anothers hard-earned wisdom.
Yes, I too once loved.
And I warned him
that it was true
I was screwed up.
(and still, he stayed.)
There were risks – not wagers to be won.
Forewarned and, still the last to know
It was a shaky toss of the dice -
payment… a weathered heart.
Something broke within me
when the feelings dimmed
warmth slower evaporated
slipped away with the distance.
(for some to risk everything is too much.)
Time now marks our beaten paths.
We X’d our bloody hearts
embraced destruction
and distractions
Cowered….
Disappearing
into the shadows
We perfected the ways.
(Shhh…I gave him an easy out.)
No longer can I quiet the pain…
I
cannot
tell you now
what you want
think you need to hear.
Sometimes it will just hurt.
For I am lacking in so many ways.
(as I reflect upon those haunting days.)
Once upon a time
I was not
so much.
(He left his ‘mark.’)
With sight and soul
under lock and key
I realized too much, too late
It was never my stony heart
It belonged to another
The other before me.
(I remember her voice.)
Mine came later.
Today, I wonder…
Did he finally
find His ‘True’ Heart?
(appearances can be deceiving.)
I miss him now, as always.
He can still make me smile
with only the thought of him….
But, I can no longer read His words.
(It hurts too much.)
~O~
